“TAXI RIDES WITH JESUS”

Much in the vein of the great Carlos Castaneda's, "Further Conversations with Don Juan", I'm thinking seriously of writing a book titled, "Taxi Rides with Jesus", chronicling the somewhat surrealistic conversations that I've enjoyed over the past 5 years with Jesus Quintana, a full-blooded Quechua Indian who acts as my driver when I'm down in Peru. Perhaps not coincidentally, Jesus is a native of a department in the Andes that is close to Carlos Castaneda's birthplace of Cajamarca, Peru.

During a recent trip to Lima, Jesus and I had the following exchange one night around 9:00 PM while we drove from the factory in Pachacamac back to my hotel in his 15 year old Subaru cab - a smoke-belching, dented, pock-marked monster with sprung Naugahyde seats that is literally bound together with baling wire and shiny silver duct tape:

Jesus: "Sr. Marc, may I ask you a very complicated and delicate question"?

Me: "Of course, Jesus. What is it?"

J: "In what part of Africa is Czechoslovakia located"?

Me: "Actually the country is now known as the Czech Republic, and its located in Eastern Europe, not in Africa".

J: "I don't mean to offend you, Sr. Marc, but that is not possible".

Me: "And why is that, Jesus"?

J: "Because my grandfather is a famous and well respected shaman among our people, and he himself told me that Czechoslovakia is located in Africa".

Me: "Forgive me Jesus, it is certainly not my intention to insult your grandfather or his wealth of knowledge, but I assure you that the country that used to be known as Czechoslovakia is located just north of Austria in Eastern Europe. In fact, I was in the capital city of Prague over a dozen times between 1985 and 1987. Has your grandfather traveled much outside Peru"?

J: "No, I don't believe he has ever left the Andean plateau, Sr. Marc. My grandfather says that he thinks much more clearly with less oxygen and therefore he prefers to live above 12,000 feet".

Me: "Your grandfather could make himself a fortune by giving seminars in logic to a lot of political hacks I know who live at sea level".

J: "Sr. Marc, pardon me, I don't wish to change the subject but I'm still not convinced by what you've said. Is it possible that they could have moved Czechoslovakia to Africa without your knowledge"?

Me: "I don't think so, Jesus. Why do you ask"?

J: "Well, clearly, any country that can change its name whenever it feels like it could secretly move itself to another continent".

Me: "Good point, Jesus. I hadn't thought of that"...